Thursday, April 13, 2006


I am a little frustrated with "me" right now. This is in large part because I struggle with the same things over and over, and even though I know that God has grown me in these areas, they are still such a significant part of me. One area that I have been struggling with lately is prioritizing according to what God wants me to do as opposed to what I want to do. I know (in my head) that God, hubby and kids are number one priorities but actions (my heart) do not always reflect this.

Yesterday I was encouraged by Karen about scheduling according to what God wants, to let Him have control of my day. I was also recently encouraged by Mrs. M-Mv to do my things on my own time rather than stealing time from my kids. My hubby and I have chosen a lifestyle that requires a consistent time investment and I don't want to fail in this area:

"I think that it's important that we parent-educators tend to our needs, but I also think it's critical that we do it on our own time. (For me, that's in the wee, small hours of the morn' or the late evening hours after they head to bed or, sometimes, during the day on "free" days (one benefit of year-round studies).) When I forget this self-mandate (e.g., when I take a call during lesson time or blog while the kids are laboring over math sheets), I send the following mixed message: Leading the family-centered learning project is my first and most important job -- except when I want to do something else. Make that mistake too many times, and it's really no wonder when the youngest dallies over a sheet she previously needed only thirty minutes to complete for three, four times longer than that; no wonder that they're feeling recalcitrant, unmotivated; no wonder our interactions are laced with discontent."
--Mrs. M-Mv

This reminds me to "redeem my time", to make it my own and use it for His purposes, for the things that are worthwhile.

I suppose that the bright side of struggling is that God is always faithful to center me in His will. He is a good God and He does not leave me floudering on my own.

Thanks, ladies, for the encouragement!