Monday, July 03, 2006

Let me tell you about the birds and the bees (not!)

The following conversation is based on true events. Any character's resemblance to someone in my family is an unfortunate coincidence!

The cast of characters consists of a mom and a dad who pride themselves on being wise and up-front when answering their children's questions, a 4 year-old daughter who is often willful and precocious and who consistently scares her parents with the depth of her curiosity, and a grandma who, being the wise matriarch of the family, is often called upon for counsel and who often evades her position in the family by feigning ignorance.

The conversation:

The daughter innocently asks: "How does a baby get into a mommy's tummy?"

The mom answers: "When a mommy and daddy love each other, God gives them a baby."

The daughter persists: "But how does the baby get into the mommy's tummy, does He send it in the mail?"

The mom tries again: "Well, God makes the baby and then He puts it into the mommy's tummy so it can be safe and warm and grow."

The daughter just won't stop: "But mommy, how does He put it into the mommy's tummy?"

The mom makes an attempt to evade her responsibility: "Grandma, maybe you would like to help me answer this question?"

The grandma says in a matter of fact tone while disguising a smile: "I don't remember anything about this subject."

The mom hands the baton: "OK, Daddy this one is yours!"

The dad: Honey, God made mommies to have babies in their tummies and He helps the babies to get inside so they can grow."

The daughter in an exasperated tone: "But daddy, how does the baby get into the mommy's tummy?"

The dad: "Honey, we will talk about this when we get home!"

The mom, the dad and the grandma, upon returning home, began a careful campaign of not mentioning the words baby or tummy under any circumstances. Two weeks have passed and all is well. So far, so good...