Love can be considered an action rather than a feeling. The feelings are the by-products of the action. Lately I have been challenged to be more proactive in my love towards my hubby. Often I wait until I feel like the timing is perfect for being vulnerable, so there is no chance of being hurt. I believe that in a marriage the root of this behavior is self-protection which stems from self-centeredness and this is not an attribute that I want to be characterized by.
A very clear portrait of love is here:
Love is patient,
Love is kind,
Love is not jealous,
Love does not brag,
Love is not arrogant,
Love does not act unbecomingly,
Love does not seek its own,
Love is not provoked,
Love does not take into account a wrong suffered,
Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
Love rejoices in the truth,
Love bears all things,
Love believes all things,
Love hopes all things,
Love endures all things,
Love never fails...
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (I added the word "love" in front of each attribute, it is implied in the scripture.)
Have you ever tried replacing the word "love" in this verse with your own name? Like this:
Randi is patient, Randi is kind, Randi is not jealous, etc., etc., etc. When I do this , it becomes clear that I need some help in a number of areas! I have a tendency to love with my strengths rather than my weaknesses and my weaknesses are the area where I would like to see some growth.
For the past few days I have been writing down ways to actively love my husband. I have made a page for each section of this scripture, so under the heading "Love is patient" I have written:
slow, thoughtful, accepting of life's conditions, unruffled, calm, encouraging words, listening ear
This exercise has been good for me because it makes "walking in love" practical. Again, I can place my name in front of each item on my list to get an idea of the areas that I need to mature in.
Too often I base my actions towards my hubby on my feelings, on what I am getting out of the relationship. This is no way to show my hubby just how special he is to me. He deserves so much more!